Im at strip club and am horny
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Shitshow foam night was such a success
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
