im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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