you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
