She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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