I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
