yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
