my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
