A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
