these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
