Christians are straight up FREAKS
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Randomize
