Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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