Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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