My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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