i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
