What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
