just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
