why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I'm at about main and main street
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
