My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize