Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Randomize
