I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
