I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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