she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
