My pussy is not your playground.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
