I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
