forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
