just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Randomize
