New low: just hacked my moms facebook
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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