Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
