that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
