I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Randomize
