I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Sorry about my life...
Randomize
