He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
