So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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