i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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