there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Randomize
