As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
