I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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