My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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