Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
