I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
this is an emotional support booty call
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
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