Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
