I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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