He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
