In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Randomize