So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
