for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
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