I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
