Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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