hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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