Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
