we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
