i used baking grease as lip gloss
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Randomize
