you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Randomize
