Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Randomize
