I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
