Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Randomize
