also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
