Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
Your mouth is God's brothel.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
