yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
