fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Randomize
