She said her name was "party"
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
