I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Randomize
